PUTTING IT ALL ON THE LINE

Do you take your coffee with one hump or two?

I went out on Saturday night to celebrate my departure with the co-workers who are more gifted at celebrating with shots than with cake. Bars are surreal to me. People change their personalities as they walk through the door. Suddenly everyone is more sexualized and gregarious. I guess the alcohol, whether consumed or just in the air, gives them an excuse to let themselves express their ids more freely. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with people being sexualized. Heck, I like sex. My grandmother says that she'd rather have a cold cup of coffee than sex any day. I don't see why I should have to choose. Just pour that old Sanka over my body and clean me up however you see fitting. But I digress. What I do struggle with is that many patrons seem to actually be grocery shopping. They talk about a place being a "sausage fest" if there are a lot of men present. "Brown sugar" is of course a reference to the good looking African-Americans. We mustn't forget "melons," "six-packs," "nuts," "buns" and the occasional "red snapper." We use these words and phrases to make natural but taboo topics more palatable. I can't deny that reading that list makes me hungry.

Now that I think about it, maybe "cold cup of coffee" was my grandma's reference to something particularly brazen. Maybe if I knew the code, I'd prefer cold coffee to sex too.

posted by Kaitydid @ 10:18 PM